Red Right Hand: GEEK THEORY #1: LOST
*He is not a secret agent. Not at all.

 

GEEK THEORY #1: LOST

This has spoiler's for "The Incident," the last episode of the fifth season of Lost. It's that fucking simple. You read any further, it's your damn problem. Why do I keep apostrophizing plural s's. Not that one, though.



By the way, on an unrelated note, my personal rule about spoiler warning is: After one year from date of release or transmission, there are no spoiler warnings. Suck it. You've had time and obviously, you didn't care about it that much to watch/read/ingest it. It doesn't come up that much. The only time I remember being called on it was revealing that "Jack" is Tyler Durden three years after the Fight Club flick came out. This being in a group of people who I knew had pretty much all seen it...apparently except that guy. He had at least 1,100 days to see it. NO guilt.

For some reason, I've spent inordinate amounts of time thinking about some aspect or another of certain shows. Now, for a television writer, on the surface, this doesn't sound too odd. It could be mental spec prep or meeting prep or something.

No. This is me totally geeking out in a way I've not been prone to that much unless provoked...by other geeks. Unless I am spec'ing something, I generally try not to overly speculate on things. Largely because if I'm right, I feel kind of cheated. I start thinking "If I could have written that, why didn't I get paid to do it." I want it to be something I would never think of...and yet be totally perfect, set up and pay off.

So this is first in a series of, I dunno...three or four. Also, use the comments to suggest things for me to theorize about. Like "What was in Inara's syringe if it wasn't for suicide?" in Firefly? But not that, because that's been outed (and not about Book's past either. It's kind of obvious. He was an Operative. End of story).

Now, on to it. This isn't so much a theory of what the smoke monster is as who it is.

It's that guy.



The guy on the rock, not the guy on the log.

And now he's using his smoke monstery abilities to be this guy.



The guy with the orange shirt, not guy with the paper hat.

This is not exactly supported by the following but fits the following:
  • That Locke is not Locke, because Locke is dead and unceremoniously dumped out a cargo box.
  • When last Ben Linus tried to call upon the smoke monster (or Cerberus, as named by Radzinski on his glow in the dark map), it didn't come out to play. Because he was already standing right there, looking like Terry O'Quinn.
  • When Locke first encounter Smoky, he saw a bright light. When Eko encountered him, he saw flashbacks of his life and was killed for not confessing his past sins. For not being evil enough? Because, yeah, it's probably Jacob is the good and his black shirted friend is the evil, in plain simple visual terms. Maybe he saw light because smoke monster was checking him out to kinda be his tool for...whatever he's doing. Maybe it was a brain scan. Maybe it knew it was going to have to be Locke one day. With all the timey-wimey stuff going on, I'm sure there's some possibility of knowing this.
  • Smoky can only take the forms of the dead, maybe. Kinda like The First on Buffy. He appeared as Eko's dead bro-ham. And that's why fake Locke told Richard to tell real Locke he had to die.
  • Smoky lives in an underground temple. Jacob lives under an old statue. There's some parity in that. Suggests they've both been there quite a while. Both are are full of Egypty stuff. Side note: I think Richard Alpert is Egyptian or something. Explains the eyeliner. I've seen that mentioned elsewhere though and has no real bearing on this.
  • They both wear black.
NEXT GEEK THEORY: DOCTOR WHO
Why we don't have to worry about the Doctor running out of regenerations and why the Master had no problem doing so despite the fact that he ran out of 'em a long time ago.
©2016 Michael Patrick Sullivan