RED RIGHT HAND 40 12 00 20 16 02 16 52 02 50 44 46 30 32 20 00 46 38 16 42

*He is not a secret agent. Not at all.



African genocide. World terrorism. Public education. Drugs. Poverty.

Whatever. I shall, instead, rail against the redesigned new releases page of Netflix.

Pay attention, Reed Hastings.

Netflix, you flashy bastards. You've gone and fixed up shit that wasn't broken, there by breaking it. You've crossed that final line into full-on corporocity (word? It is now.)

If you're a Netflix user, perhaps you've used the Friends page (if not, move along, you;re not gonna care). You know the page. The one with the sliders that show you images and rating of what your friends have, are and will watch.

And perhaps you've used the New Releases page. The one that listed (past tense) all the DVD's released in the upcoming week (usually Tuesday) that are going directly into the the Netflix library. Not just a best of the week list, but a everything list. From drama and comedy to documentary, sports, and guerrilla-knitting instructionals. They weren't especially lengthy, but they also have dynamic pop-ups showing you the basic info on link hoverage. An exceptionally useful page. A great way to find stuff you don't know to look for. I found some cool stuff on that page (or some that just seemed cool).

Les Examples
Now, they replaced it with a page full of those stupid fancy sliders. One is of general new releases, (i.e. big studio flicks that you've already been inundated with advertising for over the last six months and very few actual new releases, as just one or two slides down the row and you're at flicks that came out on DVD two or three months ago). Then there's a second slider you can toggle through categories. There's no real rhyme or reason to the selections in those. Then there's a slider for favorites in your town. Like I fucking care.

Whiskey tango fucking foxtrot, Netflix? Put it back...not even replace your bells and whistles page, just put in a link. And while you're at it, solve terrorism and the drug problem. (hint: buy all the drugs and send them to the terrorists).
©2024 Michael Patrick Sullivan
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