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*He is not a secret agent. Not at all.



I have, of course, several mortal enemies and three immortal enemies.

I also have institutional enemies. One of them is the Center for Screen Time Awareness. I believe they want me to use some kind of non-legitimate use of capitals in their name, but fuck them! It's not even their original name. They changed their name from TV-Turnoff Network to TV-Free America to this now. And they appear to be be the muscle for the vile and hated Adbusters. Shady lot, I say.

These are the jerkwads what came up with TV Turnoff Week. So you see why the hatred.

Now they've renamed this atrocity just "Turnoff Week." One might think that that's just fine. It's free of electronics prejudice. Yeah, well, it doesn't apply to toasters or humidifiers. No, they're still targeting forms of communications. Now they want you to shut off your computers and stuff too. Of course, you will find lip service about these technologies opening up the world, but there here to whine.

"Television cuts into family time, harms our children's ability to read and succeed in school, and contributes to unhealthy lifestyles and obesity."
And then, those vainglorious bastards boast...
"According to hundreds of responses to our TV-Turnoff Week follow-up surveys, 90 percent of responding participants reduced their TV-viewing as a result of participating."
They're trying to put Americans out of work. They're attacking us! That's just evil. EV-IL!

It's like this. If TV is making some people fat and useless, then I say it's Darwinism for the modern age. Take them out of the equation! I watch an enormous amount of of television and I'm scarcely fat (I'll allow arguments for useless, though).

I say retaliate, find your friends that don't watch enough TV and loan them some DVDs. Make more Firefly converts, break out some West Wings, go all nostalgic and get them watching some Remington Steele or something.

We must fight back! Take an extra minute out of your use schedule and watch this piece of really bad ad-supported, syndicated, late-nineties television. Don't just watch more TV, watch some thing really odious, just to rub it in their sanctimonious faces.

Don't watch it more than once though. For your own safety.
©2024 Michael Patrick Sullivan
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